


THE AFTERMATH

by keroseneskies



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Gen, Post-Mass Effect 3, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-08
Updated: 2014-09-08
Packaged: 2018-02-16 15:38:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2275245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keroseneskies/pseuds/keroseneskies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaidan is unable to deal with the loss of loved ones and his mental state starts to quickly deteriorate. His nights are filled with nightmares. Story concentrates on three ladies that he'd loved and lost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	THE AFTERMATH

After the war he started having nightmares of wandering aimlessly through burning woods, empty fields and streets full of corpses.

The first one that truly struck him, shook him out of sleep in a full heart-aching jump was one that felt like childhood. Kaidan found himself on an empty beach, ocean roaring wildly in the background as if the storm was about to hit the sandy shores in a full wave, yet the sky was blue and clear. It even smelled of childhood, of home, that salty wind which carried him back to when he was a little boy. He jumped as a pair of tiny fingers pinched him on the side.

“Kaidoooooo” squealed a little girl who stood behind him, big brown eyes fixed on his face as he turned around. She was smiling, tiny teeth poking out between her lips. “Kaidoo, look!”

He followed her little hand stretching towards the sea. The entire ocean was aflame. He heard a thunder rumble and the sky was dark, shadows surrounded them in a heartbeat.  
“Kaidoo!” she squealed again, running towards the burning waters.

“No!” was all he managed to utter.

He tried to catch up, but his feet, getting stuck in the sand every other step, seemed to be heavier than ever. The girl turned back to face him, smile still wide on her face.  
“You’ll never catch me” she giggled, arms up in the air. “Stop” he whispered, breathless. “Don’t.”

He was just too slow and there was no point in running anymore. The little girl was too close to the water, too far away from him. And when she jumped Kaidan did too, cold sweat running down his shivering back. Awake, alone and with a pounding head he sat in his bed for another sleepless night to pass.

The other kicked him right in the gut. It was one of those nightmares that choked you with realization and absolute terror. One that kicked you out of dreaminess with disgust and left your mouth full of bitterness afterwards. He walked through a forest, an absolutely silent domain of swaying trees and swirling needles spiralling down to an ash-grey soil. There was a silent cry so distant and unclear, yet it seemed to be echoing off the back of his skull with every step he took. Kaidan stopped for a moment, looked around in absolute confusion, his chest heavy with that shivering ominous feeling. Was he afraid?

In a distance, surrounded by dried-out plants, he noticed a figure of a woman. In the bushes, between sickly thin branches hid ugly beasts that circled around her in what seemed like a ritualistic frenzy-ridden dance, eyes glowing with a sickly blue light. The woman turned around scared and shivering, unable to escape without breaking the ring. And in that moment Kaidan saw her face. The dark eyes and full lips that seemed to be smiling just slightly even in a state of horror gave it away.

He rushed between the greying trees to save her, dust and ash rising where his feet hit the ground. After all, it was his first darling, the one that made his young heart flutter with a flush of unfamiliar yet sweet feelings. She was now shaking, scared of monsters holding her ensnared.

“Rahna!” Kaidan’s voice echoed through the woods rocking little specks of dust off the dry leaves. He was now close enough to reach for her, but when the woman turned around, her face was not of relief, but of absolute terror. She shrieked, staring him right in the eyes, voice loud enough to hurt his ears. And then, just then he noticed. The monsters, the ugly beasts with glowing eyes that encircled their victim had a face that belonged to him. And in that one moment, when ghastly blue eyes all stared at him, mouths opened wide in grin there was a crack. Like a branch snapping in two, yet it wasn’t really wood, it was more…

The sound was enough to wake him. Kaidan sat up straight in his bed knowing the exact source of that crack. He could never forget that sound and what followed.

The biotic was about to give up sleeping after his nights became restless and even worse, tormenting. The nights where the little girl visited him in unconscious visions seemed to make him most sick. He could never save her, no matter how hard he tried, no matter how close he got to the rippling waters, it just seemed too dark to see anything in the blinding light of fire.

The last one, however, dragged him somewhere unbearably dark, a place where there was no coming back from.

The city was still so fresh in his memory, piles of broken concrete and charred bodies scattered everywhere. The streets were empty, yet he could feel someone’s presence around. He walked further as if pushed forward by some unknown force. He was supposed to find something, perhaps someone, Kaidan knew, and he looked around helplessly searching for clues.

And then, hovering above the burning city, covered in million stars was his commander, her brown curls entwined with tiny lights and glowing smoke, as if nebulas weaved together to crown her. As he got closer, stars shone brighter and when Kaidan was at her feet, the green eyes lit up and burning stars devoured her, flames going up her pale body. In the dancing fire he only saw her face, smiling, serene, content with what was happening. “Shepard” he begged reaching out, but soon only ash rained from the sky, glowing stars died out and then came the darkness.

**Author's Note:**

> This ficlet sparked an idea to write a story where Kaidan slowly goes insane, so I might update on that later.


End file.
